Stoner Diaries—Episode 3: Angry is the Opposite of High

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Continued from here

My mother saw me with weed today.

“Josephina, won’t you come and cook for your friends?!” She yelled from the kitchen for what seemed like the umpteenth time in ten minutes. “When they come!” I snapped right back.
“Okay, come and help me with the salad and stop talking like an untrained child.” She said and I immediately felt bad.

I have been cranky for the past two weeks, and it’s not anyone’s fault; it’s the damn holidays. Since that last psychology class for the semester, I haven’t been in school because of the damn holidays; ergo I haven’t smoked anything in a while. Thank God, because all that changed today. KC, Dara and Bukky told me they were coming to visit today, so I  begged KC to bring something for me; even that low quality stuff they sold at a junction close to the school gate was gold at this point.

Just as I stood to go meet my mother in the kitchen, I heard a ruckus at the front door. I rushed there and opened it, a big smile spreading on my face as I saw my three best friends in the world; a blunt, a bong and a bottle of vodka. They were all in a small carrier bag Dara was holding open
“Tada!” he said and quickly closed the bag.
I almost cackled in glee as I ushered them in; I could feel the day getting better already.

They all bowed respectfully to my mother, and then filed into my room; KC jumping into the two sitter couch I cleared early this morning.
“Waaaaaa….. awesome room.” He said as he looked round my room in slow motion. Bukky and Dara started giggling and I turned to face them.
“What’s wrong with him?” I asked
Dara put up a peace sign and drew in air, which got me giggling along with them.
“For real? He’s high?” I asked and they nodded.
I shook my head and sat on the floor, then motioned for Dara and Bukky to sit on the bed.

“So…… my goodies?” I asked and made ‘gimme gimme’ hands at the bag Dara was holding. He passed them to me and I went straight for the blunt; there was more than one. This time, I cackled in glee.
“I’m hungry though” Dara said just as I was about to put the blunt in my mouth and light it. I sighed and turned to face him.
“What do you want to eat? Rice”
“Nah, I’ve had too much rice to eat abeg. I want noodles.” He replied
“Me too.” Bukky said
“Me three!!!” KC screamed from the couch, making all of us cringe.

“Okay” I said “Noodles it is.” In no time, food was ready. Just as we were about to start eating, KC screamed.
“What?!” We all asked together.
“Don’t shout” He was whispering now “Let’s pour it in the food.”
“Pour what?” Dara asked
“Ittttt” KC replied and pointed at the carrier bag.
“Oohhhhh” Dara and Bukky started smiling. After a moment’s hesitation, I decided there was no reason I couldn’t go crazy in my own house. I reached into the bag and took out the blunt, then I unwrapped it and started sprinkling it over the four plates.

“What is that?” My mother’s voice from the doorway almost made me pee in my pants. She thinks I am the “SU” type in school, because I have no known friends other than KC, Dara and Bukky. She is a church fiend, so she will kill me if she finds out that I do drugs of any sort.
“Nothing ma” Dara answered before I could think of an appropriate response.
“Then why are you putting it inside food if it’s nothing? She asked and came into the room. “What is wrong with this one?” She asked again pointing at KC
“He’s just tired.” Bukky said
I glared at the both of them; they should let me answer my mother’s questions. They glared right back; Bukky even gave me the finger. After watching us for about two uncomfortable minutes, my mother reached for the plates.
“Which one is your food?” She asked me?
“This one.” I said pointing to the one with the smallest amount of weed, because I knew exactly what she was about to do. She didn’t disappoint; she carried “my food” and started eating it.

“Hmmm, very nice” she said after two spoons and made to go away with the whole plate.
“Mummy, no!” I yelled after her, but she was no longer listening to me.
“Shit!” I muttered and then turned to Dara “How strong is it?” I asked
“Very” he replied
“How many minutes?” I asked again
“15, 20 max.” He was trying not to laugh.
“Shit” I muttered again

Now, it is 30minutes later, and I’m watching at my mother play tinko with Bukky. I am still irritable because I haven’t smoked or eaten, and everyone but me is high right now.

My mother took weed today.
Shit.

Click here for next episode

Stoner Diaries—Episode 4: Ho Ho High
Stoner Diaries—Episode 2: High Class

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