I stare at the glass of rum in front of me and sigh. Who did I offend for my life to be this way? I am pretty sure the most confused person alive right now is me; what with Wale refusing to relent on his quest to get my heart, Lekan ignoring my existence and Iyke doing everything possible to win back my heart. Its a wonder I haven’t passed out from the heat of the crowd – of men – surrounding me. I rub my eyes and scan the darkly lit bar I’m in, wondering what it is I am doing here. I am not the kind of girl who drinks; not even at social functions, so its no surprise to me that the room seems to be tilting forward, after two glasses of undiluted alcohol. I berate myself for coming to drink alone and start gathering my things. The best thing is to leave here, before I become a street drunkard.
I stagger as I stand up, and as if on cue, a hand grabs my arm and steadies me.
“Wha….?” I ask in a drunken slur
“Its me.” a familiar voice answers.
I squint at the face looking down at me, and make out the big mole just above Wale’s upper lip that I can’t stop thinking about for some reason.
“Heyyyyy! Wale’s mole. This is Wale’s mole. How are you?” I ask
“Me or the mole?” A voice asks dryly
“Youuuuu” I say in a sing song voice and push the mole like a little button. Well, it kind of looks like a little button right now.
“O-kayy!” he says laughing, and then he turns me towards the door and helps me out of the bar.
Its very dark outside, and I can barely see in front of me anymore. My eyes are closing up by themselves, and my stomach feels terrible. I now see why people say you shouldn’t drink on an empty stomach. I take a deep breath in the hopes that it will make me feel better, but it doesn’t – why do they always tell people to do that in movies then? We get to a slick black car I distinctly remember and I can’t help falling in love with it. It is so black, and shiny, and beautiful.
“Leave me alone first.” I say to the guy with Wale’s mole, and before he can hold me down, I run to the front of the car and hug it as tight as I can.
“You’re so frigging pretty.” I say to the car and I hear mole guy laughing at me.
“Oi!” I call out “Do I know you?”
“Yes. I’m your future husband.” he says
“Future husband? I have one of those?” I ask him; confused
“Of course.” He says
“What’s your name?” I ask
“Wale.” he replies
The name gives me pause because it sounds so familiar, until I realize that its the same Wale who’s leading me to drink.
“Go away.” I snap and open the car door.
“Go ‘wayyyy.” Kim slurs and starts doing some kind of fight-dance with the bonnet.
“What are you doing?” I ask her
“M gettin in the car.” She replies and I start laughing again. This girl can be a handful sometimes.
I help her to the other side of the car, and put her in the seat. In a matter of minutes we are driving towards my place in Surulere, and I’m wondering to myself if I’m doing the right thing. If she opens her eyes in my house tomorrow, she’ll realize who I am; and all hell is going to break loose. I know this because we recently became friends, and she has opened up to me about a lot of things; most of which scare me. The scariest thing on the list has to be the fact that Iyke wants her back. If he had her before, it means he knows just what to do to get her back. I shrug it off and just focus on getting her home. We stop at some point for her to puke her guts out, while I try my best not to join her; its the first time I’ve had to watch someone do this.
In no time, we are in the four room apartment I share with Lekan. It’s not much, but these past few months outside of my father’s palace has changed my perception some. Kim is muttering random stuff that I will definitely use as ammunition to embarrass/blackmail her in the nearest future. I leave her fiddling with her phone on the couch, and go get her a glass of water from the kitchen. When I get back, Lekan is already giving her water from a bottle.
“What are you doing?” I ask him before I can stop myself
“Giving her water since you decided to get her drunk.” he replies without missing a beat. His voice is so angry, so cutting that I almost flinch.
“I didn’t get her drunk.” I snap “and don’t speak to me that way.”
“NO” he says and stands to his full height “I will talk to you however I please.”
The shock I feel at his tone renders me speechless
“This is not your father’s palace” he continues “this is not a place where you rule and reign. Here, you are just a man; same as me. So if after I worked so hard to kill my feelings, because I started to feel sorry for you….”
“Sorry for me?” I can’t believe this guy
“Yes. I felt that if everything was wrong, at least your love life should be right. You seemed to really like her, and…”
“I do like her!” I yell starting to feel a mixture of anger and guilt. He has feelings for her?
“Well, if you were taking care of her like you were supposed to, she wouldn’t be here looking like such a drunk mess!” he yells back
“Well, she is a drunk mess because the one person she calls her best friend has been ignoring her for almost a month, and won’t listen to her! You dare speak of giving care?! You can’t even take care of me, and that’s the one thing you are being paid to do!” I take a deep breath; that last one took all my energy
“Are you even serious right now?” he asks and starts stalking towards me. I take a step back before I can control myself “Are you serious right now?! You are making even this; you’re making this about you?!”
Just as I open my mouth to reply, the sound of someone giggling shuts me up good. It stops Lekan in his tracks too. We both turn to stare at Kim who is struggling to get to her feet, and like remote controlled helpers, we rush to her side – one man on each side – and help her up.
“Awww. This is cute” she says and giggles again
“What?” Both of us ask
“Two of you are fighting over me. Like in a movie.” She giggles “This is like a love triangle. Like in a movie.” She continues giggling while Lekan and I just stare at each other, each willing the other to back down. Right when I’m starting to think the silence and our general poses uncomfortable, Kim’s phone rings; and I secretly thank God for an excuse to leave her as she was becoming quite heavy. She picks her phone and mutters gibberish that sounds like subdued cussing.
“What’s wrong?” Lekan and I ask at the same time
“Ahhh…. It’s Iyke. He wants me back!” She says, mimicking Iyke’s dramatic declaration. She stares at the ringing phone for a few minutes and sighs.
“This is not like a love triangle anymore. It’s a love quadra…. quadrangle? Square?” She stops with a sigh
“Love…….. square?” Me and Lekan ask in confusion. What is wrong with this girl?
It is not a cliche; be careful what you wish for because you will get it.