18 Things women do In movies during sex that are totally unrealistic

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Here’s a list of things women do in movies we find funny and hard to believe compared to real life scenario. Enjoy reading and laugh because you have been played for a long time.

Women movies

1. Require zero foreplay to get things going and have an orgasm, like, instantly.

Women movies

not sure when the saliva-as-lube thing became “sexy,” but lube would be a heck of a lot easier and you don’t have to worry about bacteria and viral particles — lube is your friend!

2. And then have instantaneous, penetrative sex without lube.

 Women movies

I’m not sure when the saliva-as-lube thing became “sexy,” but lube would be a heck of a lot easier and you don’t have to worry about bacteria and viral particles — lube is your friend!

3. Moan for the ENTIRE time — from the second their partner touches them.

Women movies

No one’s partner is actually a superhero/sex-god who can make you orgasm just from touching your knee.

4. Have on cute, matching, and (probably) very expensive lingerie…just so they can look like a “gift” for some dude.

Women movies

We can actually look really sexy in things other than frilly lingerie…and, heck, even nothing at all.

5. Wear a bra before, during, AND after sex.

Women movies
No one likes wearing a bra during the work day when you “HAVE” to wear one, so why would they choose to wear one during intercourse??? #FreeTheNipple

6. And, if they do remove their bra, there is always a magical sheet that covers their boobs, while the dude’s chest is fully exposed?

Women movies
Again with the nipple discrimination. FREE. THE. NIP.

7. Then that same bed sheet magically becomes the perfect dress while they walk away from bed.

Women movies

Because, god forbid, we walk around naked.

8. Have an orgasm “by accident” in a restaurant/park/somewhere in public where she just “doesn’t have control over it.”

Women movies

Why is it ~so funny~ to laugh at a woman having an orgasm in a place she didn’t intend to? Sounds like an awkward AF nightmare to me.

9. Never pee right after sex to help avoid a UTI.

Women movies
Peeing after sex helps cleanse your urethra from harmful bacteria post-intercourse…which, I don’t know, seems a little more important than an existential conversation?

10. Have perfect shower sex where no one awkwardly slips…

Women movies
Anyone who’s actually tried having shower sex knows that it’s QUITE awkward.

11. …or bangs their elbow into the shower door/wall/etc.

Showers are small and slippery, which are two descriptive terms that don’t belong in sex talk, TBH.

12. Stand there like mannequins and, in just one hand motion, their dress/slip/nightgown DROPS to the floor.

Women movies
It doesn’t count unless you get your hair caught in your clothes while trying to take them off, or you somehow accidentally strangle yourself in your own undergarments.

13. Wear the other person’s shit in the morning, which always conveniently fits perfectly.

Women movies

In reality, not everyone has the same shape/size body, so shouldn’t these things look more like they WEREN’T tailor-made for them?

14. And/or always wear a man’s button-down dress shirt.

Women movies

Does every man just have a button-down shirt on his floor for this exact situation? Didn’t you JUST wear that all day at your non-descriptive office job?

15. Do a sexy, highly choreographed, striptease.

Women movies
Sexy stripteases can be fun, but not everyone is that graceful or talented. Also, why is it always the lady stripping for their partner?!

16. Orgasm in slow motion, looking more like they’re in a shampoo commercial.

Women movies
The better the orgasm, the less cute you look, these are just the facts. I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.

17. Have their legs WAY UP in the air, like a flying “V.”
Are all women low-key gymnasts? I think not.

Women movies
18. And, finally, they never make one embarrassing sound. No queefing, no farting, no hilarious slapping noises. NOTHING.

Women movies

In reality, sex is PRETTY noisy and, yeah, sometimes those noises aren’t expected, but who cares?! It happens.

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