Nigerian Man Says His Children Can Bear His Wife’s Surname

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A Nigerian man, Chukwuebuka Nnaemeka Chukwuemeka, has said he doesn’t see anything wrong and so won’t mind his children bearing their mother’s surname as well as identifying with her roots.

Chukwuebuka Nnaemeka

According to Chukwuemeka’s post on Facebook, the choice of what name and hometown to claim are essentially that of his children, just as he can choose what surname and hometown to claim based on his personal circumstance.

Read his post below:

“When I told a friend that I wouldn’t mind my kids bearing their mother’s surname and nativity, he thought it was one of my numerous jokes. But I was serious.

As I tried to give him my reasons for having such inclination, he thought it was one of my feminist sermons. But it wasn’t about feminism.

“Most of my ideas about fairness and freedom stem from my personal idiosyncrasies.

“I am easily given to the advancement of free-thinking and liberty, one that does not infringe on another man’s rights and peace. Perhaps this is the reason I easily speak up for feminism, homosexuals, and irreligious folks.

“Yes, my wife would be free to bear her surname, register my kids’ names with her surname and even make her native town that of my kids.

“This is not about feminism. (If feminism preaches such cause, then it is by accident that our thoughts align.) Rather, this is about me, who I am, the way I see life — a NO Big deal.

“For instance, I have always preferred to identify ?k?z? (corrupted as Awkuzu), my mum’s town, as my native town to whoever that asks.

“This was not to push a feminist cause, but to avoid unnecessary cynical questions I get from some people when I tell them I am from ?m?eri (popularly corrupted as ?m?leri) because of the town’s history of war and violence with some of her neighbours, especially Ag?leri and ?m??ba Anam.

“As a banker, I mentioned ?k?z? instead of ?m?eri as my hometown. And it worked for me, until dad challenged me to rise to the task of declaring to the world the hidden virtues of his townsmen and be the voice to correct those narratives I do not want to be associated with.

“I agreed with him. And I am happy he was able to understand that I could decide to change my nativity to that of my maternal home based on my personal circumstances.

“Culturalists may argue for order. But in an advanced world, these things work perfectly with digitalized administrative documentation. When my kids become adults, they should be able to denounce ?m?eri and identify Ak?kwa or Ihiala or Mbaise or wherever their mother hails from as their native town.

The district commissioners will file their registration. And that’s it. In fact, as long as one is an Igbo and could prove it through their birth certificate, this shouldn’t be a big deal in an ideal Igbo nation.

“I do not think it is by having my kids bear my name that will make my name live forever. In fact, I don’t intend to change my surname from Chukwuemeka (my grandfather) to Nnaemeka (my father). Yet, who knows Chukwuemeka!

“If my kids decide to bear Chukwuebuka as their surname, that’s their business, I won’t stop them.

“I only hope that by the time they start reading and writing, my book would have been ready, so that they’d read about their father’s ideas, and realise that their individual choice is more important than whatever culture or religion prescribes.”

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