To Smash Or NOT To Smash(Laptop)

So i’m sitting here now thinking: Is my phone and Lappy good for me? I mean is the friggin internet good for me? 3years i’v been married to the internet i even worked as a hotspot manager before running for my dear life due to police wahala. Now its time to break-up with the Internet and i don’t think i can do it 🙁 Been giving myself reasons not to; You can do your assignment online…at least get tips n all.

But serzly do i do assignments online? anything productive? Nah! I’m the only internet user in my area i know who yahoo boys are pissed at lol “they be like wtf! you stay online all day..i sign in and you on facebook 24/7 you no dey sleep? wait first! where all ya maga? how many messenger you get? where you format dey? You no dey do? sh*t guy you dey dull o! ” If only they knew i’m on twitter sayn bull..ish 24/7. *rewind* ok ok i know…you’d be thinking “who is this guy fooling? you wan tell me say u no be runs guy? where the arabmoney come from then?” #JambKweshion!

Where was i sef? ehen yes iTweet,Facebook,qeep,prodigits,chats,nairaland and few other fun fun fun is all i ever do online. My head is now a cinema! Any new track i got it free,download movies 24/7 even found ways to cheat my ISP*NOT feelin guilty bout that one sha* they can like to kiss viper! I mean na me be pirate,badtguy and hip one. sumtyms my good spirit be like; IS THIS WHY YOU ARE HERE? ogbeni fiyenle! Boys Are Not Smiling these days again!


Yes its school time,time for a Re-Birth. But shey i fit born again sha? Leave old things and come out clean? I dont smoke n i’m a 20% drinker so the internet has been my only addiction(apart from sex,suya,money,junk food,supras and a million others) 😛 When there is no light i make sure the generator is fueled and when gen spoil(due to excessive use) or no money for fuel.This is how it is:

1: Stay online on phone(samsung batteries na 30min e don off!) I swear i have 4 batteries and 2 don spoil sef,computer village people na thunder go fire una sha!

2: After phone battery goes off i turn on lapotop which is new n battery stays for between 80-100minutes. Within that time i plug in my USB and charge phone again. Continue my ventures online chattin up chics on fb or making peeps laugh on twitter or just complaining bout how my tweeps just bone my side.

3: Oh nooooooooo! Laptop is gonna hibernate in 3minutes 🙁 wtf! its 100minutes already? shet! time flies o! (meanwhile i’v not brushed my teeth or had my bath..sometimes i pity chics who wake me up at home to say hi n stuffs) Not to worry…phones are charged. I plug in my ear-piece..enter playlist and scroll straight to ENI DURO ~ OLAMIDE …btw Samsung no be phone!…After jamming for bout 2hrs phone’s dead again. Now i check the time and its just 1pm *screams* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Just 1PM? o_O what am i gonna do? how am i gonna survive? No Internet? ok i need to get occupied….go out? where? no money for e-center chicks jor! Go see my pals? hmmm nope they’d just drag me around with them playing pranks and walking in the sun plus the smooching of girls at the canteen(which i like) nah! people complain i hardly get calls n i think its cos i used blackberry for bout a year n i didnt ask for phone numbers during that time i only ask for PIN and just chat away! hardly ever have a real conversation,i hardly even know d names of my neighbors. BTW #LIGHTUPNIGERIA!

5: while thinking these things i’v started feeling withdrawal syndrome ; Start experiencing mental hunger…you ever felt hungry as in food hungry when you so bored and you know it aint food you need? datz it! start eating bread lol thats the only thing i get tired of ooo..then i eat and i get tired of eating i keep the rest n after 5minutes i wanna eat again smh:( I start gettin restless like i need crack…shet this is the worst cos i turn on my dead fone hoping it got solar charged or sumfin. some people say i need to get a life but tell you have one?

6: SLEEP….wow feels like the perfect yeah just got that fix iv been looking for. I just sleep cos when off the internet i feel frustrated. Did i hear you say STUDY? lmao! I opened my physics notebook to revise and next thing i know i’m wakin up 4hours later. Thats a challenege for another day i still spelling sh*t right? i think so.lemme check…oh shet! I skipped (4) lmao! I guess y’all wont even notice. My reader count is low cos i def aint impressin the blogger community so i dont think anyone is reading this far anyway! Just saying stuffs off my mind so i dont get heavy traffic up there anymore.pjew feels good already.

So ermmm back to the issue To smash my laptop or not? I’v had a physics assignment for days and i’v not even touched it, its due for tomorrow and i’m here typing on my laptop listening to music and tweetin nsh*t. Now is there a reason i shouldn’t smash it? Me neither..i dont think so. Its prayers that will get me through school cos i cant do it on my own o! Girls in school are so sexy and so plenty its like a blessing in lecture halls 😀 Maybe when i get my bicycle i’d ask them to Holla at your boi like whizkid lol


Oh oh! Dad is back and the music is so loud..Someborri please tell this physics assignment to stop staring me in the face o!  i’m just gonna look for where to copy from tomorrow…oh i got tutorials today by erm what time? lemme check ok 3pm. School is so boring and stressful…just gotta keep on practicing my freestylin maybe one day i’d hook up with M.I and get popular after one or 2 hit singles and i wont have to go through life in the hood 😀 …Damn i’m outta here! see y’all when i got time to say sh*t on here…Drop your comments below…dunno what y’all be commenting on buh “drop it like its hot” its a jonzing world! #OkBye

The Nigerian Police


  1. Real Olodo. Have exam 2moro,promised myself not to go online or browse,but ur write up caught ma attention.Couldn’t carry it over

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