(Series) Lamentations Of An Ugly Girl #LOAUG Ep.7

I trust y’all enjoyed Episode 6 of #LOAUG oya Keep Calm and Checkout Episode 7 of the Lamentations Of An Ugly Girl





“Tooth brush, under wears, sun-shades, towels, make-up kit all check” I made a mental note of the things I had to take home with me before biding Jolomi goodbye wearing my Louis Vuitton shades (famzing) getting the hell out of school.

    The journey to Ibadan seemed rather too fast as I slept through it which is very unusual. Anyways, I got home at about past six, the clouds were just beginning to come together for the night, Oh! How much I missed home, mum started greeting me as if I just flew in from Dubai. Tunde on the other hand, looked more like he had seen me all semester. “Big T” he said collecting my bag from the gateman. He always called me “Big T” to avoid calling me conventional “Aunty Tolani” which I like anyways.

“Aburo mi, you have grown o” what have you been eating?”

“Good food abi wetin man go do?”

“Tolani, my daughter, how are you? How was your journey?” Dad said in Yoruba before I greeted him. I had a shower just before I sat to eat my Amala with Gbegiri and Ewedu soup- Ibadan style

    I dragged myself out of bed, the next morning to the living room, lazily sinking into the couch after slotting a disc to play a film. Halfway through the first episode of Revenge, someone knocked, “who could possibly come here at 9am on a Monday morning?” I said about turning to confirm my guess in the time. Alas! It was 20 minutes to midday already. I removed my hair net and packed my hair tried to look lazily sexy enough for whoever it was.

“Good morning, please I am asking after Tunde?” she politely asked. I had not seen Tunde all morning, “come in, let me check if he is still inside” I replied opening the door wide enough to ease her tiny frame in.

“Tunde, Tunde” I called as I ran up the stairs to his room. “Someone is asking after you downstairs o, na babe” I added. He was applying his roll-on deodorant, he expected her then. “Big T, I’m coming help me keep her company, no elder sister behaviour o” He muttered. I returned downstairs to the fair-skinned lady and told her he was coming. “Revenge abi, what season is this?” she asked, seconds after I continued watching. “Yeah season 1,” I answered rather abruptly. She was still talking about how interesting it was and how she had watched almost all the seasons when Tunde came down.

    “Michelle, sorry for keeping you waiting, I was just” he said without hoping to finish the sentence.” So what can I offer you? Brandy, Whisky, red wine, soft wine” He asked.

“Juice would be good” Michelle replied. He returned with the juice almost immediately. Although I wanted to stay to make sure nothing unclean happens, on second thought, the babe came from her house to see Tunde and by God, she had to see him.

“Tunde, I kinda have a headache so I’d just be in my room” I said standing up from the couch. “Make yourself comfortable, Michelle” I said as Tunde was giving me thumbs up where she could not see them.

    Later that day,

“Tunde, so what happened?” I asked

“When” Tunde replied

“With that babe ehn Michelle”

“Nothing joor, she drank juice, we talked and I dropped her off at Challenge”

“What juice? You gave her juice?”

“Abeg o, na u know ooo”

“One of these days, mumsy go catch you o”. With that, he stormed out of the kitchen. I don’t know when Tunde became this. He was all-smooth and cropped, with his beards and well-groomed moustache, you would easily mistake him for a 23-year-old man, and the boy is just 19 o.


    Meanwhile Tunde was having more lady-visits than a modelling agency, we still had time for our driving lessons, which had been quite tasking and fun, I like the feeling of control driving gives me, so when he said we had to drive early, I thought it was another babe coming.

    At around 3.00pm, the same day, he was pacing up and down, looking for one thing or the other.

“Tunde, what’s happening? This one that you just going up and down” I asked

“My hair brush, I have to brush my hair”

“I have one, check my wardrobe, wey you dey go sef?”

“Me I dey go Dome, I no fit come Ibadan come dey dull myself”

“What happening at dome?”

“My G’s birthday party

    I don’t know why I decided to go with him maybe to make sure he doesn’t get drunk then bash the car or maybe I just didn’t want to come to Ibadan and dull myself too. I jumped into the bathroom after telling him to press my clothes. I drove to the junction before he took over the wheel from me.

“Please no elder sister behaviour” He read the riot act as soon as we made the turning into the space in front of the Dome. He always said that anytime we went anywhere together. Without reply, I stepped out of the car waiting for him to lead the way.

    “Hey baby, I thought you weren’t coming again,” she said hugging Tunde tight giving me the ‘this-is-my-man, you-better-back-off’ look over his shoulder.

      “Ode, if only you know you knew that you are not even in his top ten, idiot” I said to myself as I pulled out my chair to sit down. It wasn’t even like a real birthday bash, it was more like a few people nursing drinks and enjoying music. Tunde quickly introduced me as his sister before his “girlfriend” tore me apart with her eyes.

    “Chapman, please” I wasn’t going to get drunk around some over grown teenagers. “Here comes that birthday boy,” Someone at the other table hailed. I looked up from my phone to see a chocolate-skinned face with moustache just forming below his nostrils in a shiny black jalabiya. After he greeted everybody, he took his seat beside me; he didn’t have a choice that was the only free chair.

“More meat,” he said. I didn’t know he was talking to me till he nudged me.

“No thank you” I replied with a plastic smile

“Watching your weight, babes and that jargon”

“No but you make it sound like it is a babe only thing”

“Sure nah, we guys we just live life as it comes. No qualms, No worries”

“That’s a lie; I’ve met guys who watch their weight too”

“They have to be gay” He interjected.

“But it is not really about weight, it’s majorly about being and looking healthy” I was getting interested, from the corner of my eye, I saw Tunde’s girlfriend nodding like an agama lizard in affirmation. We continued talking although changing topic from music to lifestyle till he opted out saying “you really know how to dot your I’s. You sound like the go-to person for a good conversation. We should talk often you know, your BB pin?” He asked before we exchanged contacts.

“Only God knows where this one is now,” I thought typing Tunde’s number to call him.


Drop your comments and let us know what you think!

CLICK HERE For Episode 8


(Series) Lamentations Of An Ugly Girl #LOAUG Ep.8
(SERIES) Dominoes Ep.6 by @Mzz_Kemmie


What Do You Think?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.