(Series) Lamentations Of An Ugly Girl #LOAUG Ep.14 By @Embijay


I trust y’all enjoyed The Previous Episode of #LOAUG oya Keep Calm and Checkout the latest Episode of the Lamentations Of An Ugly Girl






I have always wanted to leave Ibadan to experience the Lagos life, not that I have not been to Lagos but never on my own, so IT just presents me with the opportunity to do so. Telling my dad would not be a problem since I had insisted on doing my IT in Lagos from my 200 level days, where exactly I still don’t know. I had discussed with Viv, she had promised me that I could stay with her, and finding a placement but if, I had to go early, I had to set-up the topic early so they have time to do their I’s and nays early.

Later that day.

“Dad, you know that my IT is supposed to start next week?” I started

“Yeah that’s true and you want to do it in Lagos, abi?” he answered adjusting his glasses.

“Yes sir, I have to do it in Lagos”

“I’d call Ajisafe and see if he can get you a PR firm or something of sort”

“No, don’t worry I have already sent someone to submit my letter to some TV stations in Lagos”

“Ehn Ehn” he replied showing amazement without actually loosing gaze of the Al-Jazeera news he was watching.

“Hope you have told your mom?” he said in Yoruba just as I was leaving.

“No but I will” I replied.

“What are you telling me?” Mum answered from the dining area before Dad relayed the scenario to her.

“Je ki n pe Kayode and tell him you are staying at his place” mum said.

“No o, I already have somewhere to stay” I replied.

Rather angrily, she replied, “Somewhere I don’t know”

“No o, I am staying at Vivian’s place, it is on the island and my IT placement too is on the island. And you know daddy Favour stays on the mainland” I replied coyly.

“Ta lo nje Vivian?” she asked

“My friend that came here last year for the competition in UI”

I still don’t know how far the ‘island’ is from the ‘mainland, I reiterated Bola and Liz. I can’t stay at Daddy Favour (Kayode) house, my maternal uncle, a deacon or something of that sort. He is one to tell me not to wear this and that, too much make-up as if I ever wore things that bad. The last time he came to Ibadan, he kept on repeating how big I was. His sermon ehn! Thank God, most of it was directed at Tunde.  More so, I can’t go to Lagos to baby sit.

“Oh that girl, but I don’t know her house, her parents” She interjected

“Her parents didn’t know you before she came here abi, I’m 22, I can take care of myself” feigning anger.

Although Vivian did not come to Ibadan for any competition in UI, she came for auditioning for casting in a film or was it a music video (I can hardly remember). We used the competition as to prevent further questions. The funny thing is since she left, I never asked how it went, and maybe she made the cast or not. By the way, if Vivian “blows” tomorrow, and she becomes proud I won’t even blame her, this babe don waka like craze ehn. It took quite a while to convince them that I’d be fine on my own in almighty “Lagos city” but since I had always persisted right from my 200 level days.

Soon, I was in a bus taking me down to Lagos, filled with excitement *not the type a village girl feels when she is coming to Lagos* because I was going to be with all of my babes.

“Screw IT, I am going to have fun,” I said to myself about a million times on the bus.

After a few hours, we got to Oshodi; I put on a mild frown (trying not to look like a JJC), crossed over the bridge and queued for the BRT taking me to CMS. After a few more buses and a cab ride, I finally got to her street or estate where she was waiting for me taking no rest at calling my phone.

“Yaay” we exclaimed, hugging each other before I remembered I had to pay the cabman who already had a frown on his face.

“Omo, T-lines, you are in Lagos” she exclaimed letting out a pinch of Igbo accent. We dialed Bola’s number and she was even more elated that was coming to Lagos again since writing common entrance for Queen’s College.

“Tolani, e don come Lagos eeh” she said with a tone like that of Osoufia in London movie

“Babe, chill, I have been to Lagos before joor” I answered.

“I’ll call you later, ehn” Viv said snatching the phone from me.

You need to hear Liz with her sarcasm, “Shey you didn’t pay #5,000 for bike sha: because they would have seen one JJC”.

“Ode, I entered a cab, I’m a big girl, mumu”

“Oh o, I hear you o, welcome to Lagos, Lagos is changing. Fashola is working; at least you know who Fashola is?”

“Gerrout joor, nonsense girl” I replied.

We got into Vivian’s big compound and before I could ask if there were any dogs, I heard some violent barking. They probably were caged. Vivian’s brother and his friends were playing video games when we got in.

“Chibuzor, meet my friend, Tolani” Viv said

Without looking he said hi, I replied and that’s his friend Roy”. Just like Chibuzor, he waved. We proceeded to her room, painted in sky blue, with a canvass painting of  a kangaroo with its young one in its pouch it looked very lush and spacious, at least spacious enough for two people.

“Are your parents around so I can greet them?”

“No, they went to one party like that”

When they came back, I went to greet them; Vivian’s mum looks extremely young, she could easily be mistaken as her elder sister but she spoke with an unmistakable Igbo accent.

“How are you and how was your journey?” her father asked.

“Fine sir” I replied

“Vivian, make your friend comfortable during her stay. He added with a smirk of his face.

“So you and Vivian are friends shey, hope she is a good girl in school ehn” Viv’s mother asked obviously exhausted.

“Yes ma she is a good girl, she is only a bad girl when she is with Dan alone”. The latter part I said to myself.

“See me if she wasn’t, would you tell me?” she jokingly added.

“I trust…..” her father was about to say something when power went out or better still  NEPA took light .

“So much for being in Lagos,” I muttered under my breath as I tried to put my flashlight on.


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