My Beloved


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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not darkness that most frightens us; your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us it is in everyone. And as we let our lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others”.

If you have seen the movie Coach Carter this particular scene couldn’t have escaped you tho it’s an old movie this quote seems fresh every time I read it.

Today started out as a day I don’t want to do anything (God bless Bruno Mars for that song) but how does one with zeal to keep writing have a lot to write yet not put it down… I am not your usual columnist in fact I am not a columnist I am a character in the game “olodo’s” I am planning to beat Ibrahim, Kemmi and Ahmed to it so help me God. I think this is where I introduce myself, I am Shem Kadir from now on I would be your chaperone (as I found out I am good at chaperoning) I would take you deep into the fibers of the world we would find our strengths our weaknesses and then ourselves, we will be heroes, we will re-discover the world.

Writing from the comfort of my bed struggling with what our first conversation will be about, its October 1st and nothing more comes to mind than Nigeria itself, it is very disheartening that from October last year to October this year I have nothing better to say about my beloved country, I call her my beloved because she is home.

In the wee hours of the morning my mind takes me to France, I imagine myself in palazzo pants a plain top and a beret, I see myself holding a brush and there is a stencil in front of me, it is then I realize I am painting the rainbow. When the morning gets brighter and it dawns on me that it is time for hustle I imagine myself in New York lost in the crowd but getting busy, as it gets to the afternoon I realize that this life is too hard and I imagine I was in Saudi Arabia, as a woman I will be well cared for and would not have to go through all these. Then the evening comes, it has been a hectic day of merging my dreams with my reality so my mind goes to Vegas to #turn-up, dance and drink like no man’s business. After all said and done when I get home take a bath and hit the sheets I come back home, come back to Nigeria my beloved Nigeria.

This past one year has been a massive disarray , I will highlight two major events that have held my mind captive, my eyes have refused to shed more tears not because it is been stubborn but it is empty, it is tired. On the 16th of march 2014 I remember it was a Saturday I was in my room when we started seeing display pictures of over populated stadiums and I heard it was an immigration job interview, it ached my heart to actually see that the unemployed dominates the populace of this nation, and even the employed ones are not satisfied with their jobs. Over 16 people were feared dead and many more injured. If this does not ache the hearts of our leaders then I wonder how they sleep at night.

Nyanya bombings on the 14th of April shook the country, it was a day I wished I didn’t see a day we relived and revisited the pains that we have for so long tried to hide, as if that was not enough 219 innocent girls preparing for exams were abducted, they were taken from where should have been a safe haven and till now some are still missing, I say some because it was said that a minority escaped meaning a major part of them still cannot be accounted for.

It is appalling that my country can celebrate 100 years of existence, 54 years of independence when its roads are water lodged, its streets not safe to walk, its system falling apart, and its youths have lost faith in it. If those we believe are the future of this nation have no faith in it, then who will take us to the promise land, is there really a promise land? I do not know if to hope, because my hope has been dashed. In the middle of all this a tear dropped. The draught in my eyes has come to an end.

I love you Nigeria, I want to believe in you, I want to trust you but right now I am lost. I am far from home, who will bring me back? “Arise ‘o’ compatriots, Nigeria’s call obey” If we find the hidden message behind this phrase we would find solace amidst our pain.




The Message In The Tune - Hey Brother by Avicii

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