Series: The Stoner Diaries — Prologue


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Hello! Good day everyone, how’s your weekend going? Great news here today; we are starting a new series soon. The name of the new series is STONER DIARIES written by Kemmie Ola. Basically, it’s the story of a student who tries to survive the ups and downs of her life while fighting a serious addiction to smoking weed.

Here’s a prologue/sneak-peek into one of the silliest, most incredible diaries you will ever read.


Just One More Blunt

It’s 7pm and there’s still so much heat. I don’t understand this Lagos, it’s like the heat and the state have an agreement to frustrate the joy out of all residents within its overcrowded territory. I decided I to take off my shirt which doubled as a jacket over the white round neck shirt I was wearing; the weather was too hot for fashion. I had not walked more than a few feet when I heard someone call my name. I stopped and looked around; I didn’t see any familiar faces so I shrugged and kept on walking.

“Joe!” I heard it again and stopped walking. Who was that, why was the person calling me? Or was I hearing voices now? It wouldn’t have been strange to hear voices at that point though, as I was suffering from serious withdrawal symptoms. It was exactly 45hrs, 37 minutes and 8seconds since I stopped smoking. Maybe the voices in my head represent my body, or whatever. I don’t know; I can’t be intelligent about this too. I shook my head vigorously in a bid to dispel the voices in my head and kept walking. About three steps later, I heard my name again; the voice sounded more urgent this time.

“What?!” I replied, choosing to play along.
“You need to smoke again.”
“Very funny” I replied, “I quit like two days ago.”
“Nope. You just think you did.” The voice replied.

I started getting irritated. Who the hell did this person think he was to talk to me this way?

“I am blunt, your best friend.” The voice replied.

He is hearing my thoughts now? I thought in anger.

It was at this point that it occurred to me that I couldn’t see who I was speaking to
“Just look beside you.” The voice replied, proving that he could actually read my mind. I looked behind me and the shock almost killed me right there; because standing next to me was a giant blunt. When he had said his name was “blunt”, I didn’t think he meant that literally.

“What the hell?!” I asked when I could finally speak.

“I am your friend, no need to be afraid.” He said in that slurring voice that gave the impression that he was sleepy. I started walking faster and he just floated beside me; it was like he wasn’t even stressing himself, but some force just made him light and fast at the same time. He floated effortlessly beside me until I started running out of breath, so I stopped and turned to face him.

“What do you want?” I asked
“I just want to tell you to chill out; you’ve been so tense.” He said
“Leave me alone.” I replied and he started to laugh.

“Joe, Joe, Josephina.” He sang and started floating higher; his voice becoming thinner as he went farther.

“Joe, Joe, Josephina, Josephina, Josephinaaaaa…”

“What?!” I gasped as I woke up. My friend – Bukky – was the one who was saying my name in that thin voice. She had obviously been trying to wake me up. It took me a while to get my bearings and then I smiled as I remembered my dream.

“Why are you smiling?” Bukky asked, just a tad confused at my strange behavior
“Nothing.” I said and made to get up “I need a blunt.”
“But you quit two days ago” She replied, her demeanor indicating that she wouldn’t mind rubbing my weak resolve in my face with an ‘I told you so’ kind of statement.

“I know. I need just one more blunt, and then I’m good.” I said to her as I reached for the secret stash hidden in a hole inside my mattress.

“Just one more blunt.” I repeated.

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