Unilag for Humanity Pic-fic Series 16: Dilemma of a Lagos Fine Boy By Oluwatosin Morunfolu #UFH1PicFicSeries

UFH

Waking to the hustle and bustle of the day, I jostled my way through the surging crowd waiting to jump into any available bus in order to get to their destinations. I could not wait to see my babe. Finally, I would meet my in-laws to be. Amara was one of the prettiest and decent girls I had ever met. Right from the very first day I caught a glimpse of her face, my heart melted. It was then I believed in the words “love at first sight”. While walking and staring at her angelic face, I tripped. Geez! How could I have fallen? Just then, I felt her warm hands lifting me and she said with a smile that could make a Pope fall, “Are you alright, sir?” I faked a smile and told her I was. As fate would have it, we met a second time and that was when the “chiking” began. I am very sure her parents would love me as this would be the first time I would be visiting. Though, the thought of having to go visit my babe in a place she called Dustbin Estate was quite scary, I brushed any evil thoughts wishing to destroy my day.

“Ajegunle, Dustbin Estate, e wole pelu senji yin o,” I heard the bus conductor scream. People pushed and fought hard to get a seat on the bus. A foreigner would have thought a war was about to happen. Even the bus conductor at a point was pushed away by the people. Hmmmm… I was one of the lucky few to get on the bus. I muttered a little thank you Jesus and checked my suit carefully to make sure no part of it was torn or stained.

“Oya, e mu owo yin jade o, ko si senji o,” the bus conductor screamed again. As I struggled to bring out my #50 note, I noticed I was sitting beside this fine babe. O boy, this babe was fresh. She was the definition of fine girl no pimple. As a fresh, fine boy, I tried to form big boy, so instead of the #50 note, I searched frantically for the #100 note I had reserved to buy something to eat after the visit to my babe. At this point, the food could wait but not the babe. Forming an accent, I said, “Don’t worry dear, I’ll pay”. The smile that formed on her lips made my heart sing for joy. At that instant, I forgot about my babe.

We started a conversation and even though I asked some silly questions like what she was doing on a bus, I could still tell she was already feeling me, emi fine boy no wrinkle. Just then, the conductor shouted, “Dustbin Estate o, se o wa?” Shit! That was my bus stop. Was I going to say “o wa o” or just let the bus keep moving till it passed my destination? What a dilemma! Left with no choice, I said, with the little strength in me, “Dustbin Estate wa o.” The look the girl gave almost made me pee. And she said, with so much disgust and disdain, “so you live there?” Was I to answer, or just dust my suit and alight? Trust me, I took the second option.

I walked humbly and quietly to my babe’s house still thinking about my plight. She sighted me and ran to meet me. I feigned a smile and wrapped my arms round her.

“My love, how are you? Mum and dad can’t wait to finally meet you,” she said. We walked into the house which looked like the houses used in all those ancient movies even though those houses were finer than this. I felt like I was in a ghetto.

“Ehhhhh, my son, you are welcome.” The voice of Amara’s mum jolted me back to reality.

“Good day, ma. Good day, sir,” I greeted.

“Amara,” her dad called, “won’t you bring some water for your bobo?” Amara went to the table and brought out a very dirty cup to rinse. With so much adrenaline running to my brain, I screamed, “Amara!” They all looked at me. Immediately, I composed myself and said with feigned laughter, “don’t worry, baby, I’m not thirsty. I just remembered I am fasting.”

“Ohhh…” she said with that beautiful smile, “you should have told me.” So I kept swallowing my saliva till the whole introduction and Amara’s dad telling me how he met her mum was over. I still can’t believe how a beautiful soul like that of Amara’s was brought up in that slum. Tired, irritated and disgusted, I fell asleep as soon as I got back to my apartment, thinking about how the whole day had gone.

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