I had college education in a typical Nigerian University. Well, maybe not typical. Maybe even less typical! There was nothing really spectacular about my Alma Mater, save the stereotyped pattern the mentality of students there was wired.
For most part of my college years, I stayed in our of the few lodges that could boast of 1 hour of power supply every week and water supply. We called it “The Arab money Lodge”. The appellation alone fascinated me. There is no more intriguing contradiction.
A lot of students had opined that over 70 per cent of ladies who lived in my lodge were basically ‘runs girls”. I never really cared. I had a few female friends who lived in that same lodge and they were prim and proper.
I loved them. These were those days in the university that I wouldn’t forget. I grew up like the majority of Nigerian boys; and in my unenlightened moments, I didn’t think girls would be aroused by a man that was partly unclad.
I had never thought they would. Although my mum would always yell at my brothers and me whenever we wore only boxers in the house. She would ask us to go and wear our shorts and stop ringing our bells everywhere we go. It was always funny whenever she’d say it, because she always said it in Igbo. “Bia Dike, akuzina ngbiringba ebenine. Jee yichie ahu is ISO ”
I grew up seeing men on the streets who walk about with reckless abandon. They boldly wear boxer to walk around the street, fetch water and go to corner shops to buy stuff. I had done all those as a teenager until my late Uncle cautioned me at a point.
“Bia Dike, you are a man now. You have your dignity to protect. Stop going about wearing boxers only” he said to me. I was just 14 then.
I paid attention to what he said. I decided to only wear boxers inside the house. I didn’t see anything wrong with men wearing boxers, especially when they are still in their streets. I felt we only needed to cover our penises and nothing else.
As a young adult living in the “Arab Money Lodge” dominated by women, I learnt that ladies always get uncomfortable seeing our partly unclad bodies too. Hmmm, who would have thought?!
We had a big reservoir in the lodge. We always converged to fetch water early in the morning hours. Sure, it was morning and most guys wouldn’t mind wearing boxers to go out to fetch water. A few of the guys would also wear swimming trunk and let their bulge show as they go to the reservoir.
Nobody complains when they see men dressed that way. In my own case, I would wear my boxers and a shirt to go fetch water. Right now, I genuinely don’t think that wearing boxers outside one’s room is appropriate.
The girls in my lodge didn’t give a hoot what anybody thought about them. They would wear bumshorts and bras to the reservoir and you would see their cleavages showing as well. They didn’t care. You know the ridiculous thing about some men They easily cry foul.
These men were partly unclad too but they were already insinuating that these ladies should at least help them by not displaying their breasts, belly and thighs seductively. It arouses these men.
In one occasion, one brother had called a sister to advise her, telling her she should remember she is just a woman. She should dress well so she doesn’t lead souls to hell. This “evangelist pastor” had worn a pair of sagged trousers. He was bare-chested with large pectorals and well-defined 6 packs. I really want to paint a picture here so you would cotton on pretty well. He obviously didn’t think that he could be leading souls of many ladies to hell by displaying his torso to the entire world like that.
“See who is preaching! You came out conveniently dressed like this and you find time to reproach someone who is dressed like you too just because she is JUST A WOMAN? You don’t think you are leading souls to hell with what you are wearing too? Please take your preaching to the male folks who need it.” She admonished, kissed her teeth and climbed the stairs to her room. I observed all that and it did teach me a lesson.
As the years go by, I began to realise that most men feel they know how the minds of all ladies work. They say women aren’t moved by what they see, rather they are moved by what they hear. Some women have also accepted that narrative too. This is the reason why most men don’t think that their bodies could arouse some ladies. Perhaps some men do know that ladies get attracted to well-chiseled bodies.
That’s why they would hit the gym , work out and post photos of themselves partly unclad too. They would entice ladies with such perfectly chiseled bodies on social media, but once a lady shows off a little skin on her photo, it becomes a sacrilege. She becomes the devil’s incarnate who leads souls to hell.
If ladies were to have equal amount of strength as the guys and the society permited them to express their sexual prowess as guys do now, it means that many men would be raped by female relatives, female friends and strangers also, right? This would be the case if we totally agree that indecent dressing is the majority cause of rape.
Sometimes we don’t always see our faults because our societal norms are already filled with jaundiced perspective of what a man and a woman should or shouldn’t do.
I hope you realise today that as a man, your chests, your abs, your ripped muscles , striations and your saggy trousers are all the same as the feminine thighs, their exposed belly, the cleavage and the back.
If you are a man and you have posted a picture of yourself partly unclad, I don’t think you should be here judging ladies who choose to be partly unclad as well. It’s a classic example of pot calling kettle black.
After reading this and you( who is guilty) don’t realise that you are in the same category with the ladies you reprimand, then you should know that you have allowed your problem to reach an irreparable point.
Oh well! What do I know? After all, I’m just an ordinary witter.